Possibly the worst advice I've ever heard

Dear Siobhan: The Star, Tuesday July 1

I had 40 one-night stands

In the past year I went through more than 40 one-night stands and I deeply regret it.
I’m now with a gorgeous guy, who says he loves me, but I live in fear of him finding out about my past.
The whole of 2007 was a total nightmare for me. My granny died and then my parents announced their divorce.
I didn’t really care who I slept with, as long as I got the sleazy sex I craved. I’ve had some hairy experiences, too.
One moron tried to rob me, while another just wanted to slap me about for kicks.
But all that was then, and this is now. I’ve got a steady boyfriend and I’m happier than I have been in a very long time.
But many people know about my past – both friends and enemies alike.
Every time we go out, I’m terrified that someone is going to say the wrong then and land me in it.
Maybe I don’t’ deserve my guy great guy? I’d hate to drive him away with negative thoughts, but sometimes I just don’t’ know how to erase my shameful past.
What am I going to do?

Siobhan’s advice:

Time is a great healer. You’ll gradually forget about your past if you don’t dwell on it. Just bottle it away and deny everything if anyone confronts you with it. Just say “I don’t know what you’re on about,” no matter what evidence is brought up.


This is typical of the problems that end up on these pages. Personal weakness leads the individual to happily walk into a detrimental situation, and ends up look for some fool on the back pages of the red-tops. I’m not sure a dead granny and divorced parents is enough to turn you into the village/town/continent bike.

However, I don’t wish to attack this poor lass (I presume the writer is a girl, not that I’m suggesting a gay fella wouldn’t be to bothered about being such a cum-dumpster, unless I just did). She seems to have recognised she made a mistake and is trying to make it write. Which is why I’m jumping in here to plead with her to avoid making a bad situation worse by listening to awful ‘advice’, which I fear is unduly influence by her middle-class sweater-set in by-line picture.

Honey, the last thing you should do is bottle this down, and the second last is deny it blindly if anyone brings it up. Supposing a litany of people tell this wonderful guy what a tramp you are. You can only deny it so many times before you he realises you are not being honest. And if you follow Siobhan’s advice you are being dishonest, most importantly to yourself. You seem to fear you are not good enough for this apparent Adonis. Allow me to suggest that if he can’t handle your past he’s not good enough for you.

You’ve started off on the right path by accepting acknowledging your past failures, but now you need to finish what you started. The thing you fear the most is actually your greatest need. You’ve shown you can be honest with yourself. It’s time to be honest with your boyfriend.