Why doesn't she love me as much as I do?

Column: Aunt Sally (Sally Brampton), The Sunday Times' 'Style' magazine.

My jealousy is ruining our friendship

When we first met, she was in a long-term relationship that was seriously flawed. We rapidly became very close. The sex was incredible, which neither of us had experienced before, but it felt as if she was having two relationships at once. She tried to break up with her boyfriend, but was reluctant to hurt him or leave the comfort and security. Everyone told me to give up, but our time together was so amazing that I tried to be patient. After weeks of wonderful, intimate sex – and terrible pain – my patience ran out. We promised to remain best of friends. She has since ended things with her boyfriend and is starting a new relationship, which makes me hugely jealous. We speak almost every day and, while I think it would be better to speak less, I miss her and enjoy her company so much, I can’t go through with it. She says she misses me too, and thinks about me loads, but is trying to get over me, as she is moving university soon. How do I get over her?

Sally's advice:
Don't confuse sex with love. She probably didn't really want you but that's ok because she's probably an emotional coward anyway.

If you ask me:
The funniest thing about this guy is how he assumes he was the best shag this tart has ever had. Mate, as "incredible" as the sex may have been, it comes nowhere close to how incredible your fucking ego is. Ok, maybe I'm being harsh. It's possible she told you told you what a fantastic fuck you are, but for this to have value you'd really have to have faith in her words. Do you have any reason to suspect she's a liar? Maybe the first boyfriend can fill you in.

Sally's right. The reason she didn't leave this guy is because - as "flawed" as this relationship may have been - she still preferred him over you, which makes your arrogance all the more hilarious. Of the three idiots interested in this clap-trap the one she's least interested in is you. And I suspect I know the reason. Rather than trying to get over her, it seem to me that the person you really need to get over is yourself.